I have left off blogging for a while, trying other pursuits, but I think I really love writing, bottom line. I must give blogging a second chance, since I realise I spend too much on Facebook and now increasingly more time on twitter.
I have had two weeks or so to ponder and think about what life really is to me. I must admit, there are still many gaping holes, but I so love the fact that I have God to lean on. I think my Christianity is the ultimate crutch. This life is way too hard. I come to a place I feel I am where I want to be. I have a job that satisfies me, making decent money, living in a nice enough house for what I need, in a good enough neighbourhood for my station in life. I have material blessings.
Spiritually too, I feel I am making head way in my faith, I am learning more about God and His ways. I am recapturing lost love and renewing old vows, while making new discoveries on how much impact I can have for God. My husband and I seem to understand more on what God would have us do in His Kingdom, though some areas still need light to be shed. The children are grasping the concept of a God we cannot see who is always present with us.
However, even with all these, I still find myself, wondering, will I ever achieve full understanding? I am doing so much better than most, but still my brow is creased and my mind is racing searching for answers. I guess as long as I am alive, I shall never fully understand. The secret I think lies in reaching a point where you make up your mind, that even if you do not understand, you do not mind. I don't have to know everything, I do not have to understand everything, I do not have to open any door or to make any allowances for anything that I cannot grasp. Simply because, as the cliche' goes, what you don't know won't hurt you. Quite literally, if God has kept it hidden from me, then I don't really need to know.
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