Happy New Year Everyone,
I have really neglected writing for a while, mainly because towards the end of last year, my life became such a roller coaster that I wanted to get off the ride, but it was going too fast. I have started this year by trying to de-clutter my life. That is easier said than done, because everything I do is important, every commitment I make I have every intention of honouring, and I still want to be a wonderful mother, and a fit wife for Divins. This makes the decisions that I have to make this year all the more difficult. "Should it stay or should it go?"
There's a very disturbing show on TV called "Hoarding, Buried Alive" The programme follows the life of hoarders, who have the urge to acquire everything and throw out nothing, until their homes are as full and as dirty as the Dandora garbage dumping site. Some collect new stuff, but most get the stuff from buying other people's junk. Others take it a notch hire and don't clean at all, so the clutter is mixed with their own waste. They literally bury themselves alive in their sub-urban homes. Worst part is, they do it to themselves, they go for shopping, they spend all their life's savings on junk, they drive away family and friends, and die slowly in the cess pool of stuff accumulated.That show always amazes me, and saddens me. Crazy, but makes for good television reality show, better than the Kardashians for sure! But I digress.
I do not have a problem of physically hoarding stuff, but I do have a problem with hoarding commitments. I am swamped, but I still say "Yes" to requests to join this committee, become that trustee, look at this document for me, I have a case and I think only you can help me, can you pray with me? On top of all I take on, I have guilt over friends who have been bereaved that I have not visited, others who have new babies, or recently got married (and I missed the wedding) I have more guilt over stuff that I have done and not given my best, since I had no time to be thorough, or I had no more energy. The cherry on the top is the family. Whenever I walk through the door, mummy has to be on top of everything, and wifey knows how I like my dinner.
Don't get me wrong, this is not a whining post, there is a point in there somewhere (I promise!) Point is, now that I have a new year, I have a chance to actually pass go, and collect $200 (hope you play monopoly) and maybe get me a get out of jail free card. Instead of taking every single module in the order they are put out, I shall do one and skip one. Masters will take me twice as long, but hey, what is the hurry? I shall say "No" to any request that is being made. Of what is already on my plate, I shall start trashing anything that increases aggravation, and reduces productivity. However, the biggest change I will make, is people. Anyone who does not add value to my life, or actually causes me stress is going.
I am 35 years old this year (so when my birthday rolls round, you now know). Like Miguna Miguna famously said, I am not seeking acceptance, I am comfortable in my own skin, I have faith in my abilities, and in the favour bestowed upon me by God. I do not need anyone to affirm me, yes, not even Divins. I know my worth and my pedigree. I have learned how to love and keep and how to let go. I have seen what is really important in my life is my God and my family. The rest are details.
Yep, 2012 is MY year. I had declared 2010 the year of Joy, but the Constitution review process, and run up to the August Referrendum made me rethink that position. So this year I have decided to declare it the Year of Joy. Not joy the feeling, but Joy, me, the person. I shall take the whole year putting no one before me but God. He is the only veto power. Everybody else, get in line!
I know, I have cheated you out of a real post, but hey, I said it was my year, didn't I? However, not too long now, I shall resume regular posts, because I have realised, posting on Joy's Musings is part of my emancipation. Now, off to get me a cup of tea. Happy New Year once again!! Make it Count, won't you?
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